Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Curmudgeon in the Wry

Former BNA Records, Nashville promo exec Ken Van Durand is now retired and literally 'on the beach' (near Orlando). His occasional email missives are always fun and worth a read (from

Wednesday, December 22, 2004-490 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 51 seconds

Rant: By writing a book about her involvement with Scott Peterson, Amber Frey is taking tacky to an all-time high…or low as the case may be.

Rave: Being able to renew my Florida driver's license and automobile tag on line…and getting the license and tag within seven working days.

Hmmmm: Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Rave: High marks to Charles Osgood who skewered the PC crusade to replace the word "Christmas" with "holiday." He demonstrated the foolishness with such examples as: "I'm Dreaming of a White Holiday," "A Holiday Carol," "We Wish You a Merry Holiday" and "All I Want for Holiday Is My Two Front Teeth" among others.

Rave: Good for Chris Matthews (closing his NBC Sunday show) and Bob Schieffer on "Face the Nation" for taking similar stands on this crusade that some would call misguided.

Have no interest in: Meet the Fockers, Ocean's Twelve, Spanglish, Lemony Snicket, Blade:Trinity, Christmas with the Kranks, Fat Albert and Alexander.

Under Rated: Lila McCann, Little Richard, Eli Wallach, Louis Prima, University of Arkansas Men's Basketball Team.

Just asking: Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually?

Quote: "A centipede is an ant made to government specs." ---Anon.

Over Rated: Eminem, Ozzy Osbourne, Lucy Liu.

Way Over Rated: Ludacris.

Always a high standard: George Will, Woody Allen, Michael McDonald, Walt Disney, and Larry Bird.

Factoid: The Birdman of Alcatraz never kept any birds during his seventeen years on The Rock. He had them while incarcerated at Leavenworth.

I Will Miss: "NYPD Blue" will have its jersey retired on March first of next year. There are nine more original episodes on deck. It has been a spectacular twelve-year run---many awards and superb characters. It is doubtful that in today's "instant ratings or die" network mentality that "Blue" would get renewed for a second season. Today, something this good would start on cable.

We all do it: How come we press harder on a remote control when we know the battery is dead?

Quote: "Publicity is like poison; it doesn't hurt unless you swallow it." ---Joe Paterno

Hmmmm: What color is a chameleon on a mirror?

That is all.As you were.

If you'd like to receive Ken's "Curmudgeon in the Wry" emails direct, tell him you're an A&O client and send a request to If he likes you, he'll do it.

If he doesn't, he won't.

That's how it is to be "No Biz in FLA..." and a Curmudgeon too.

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