Actual Product "Warnings"

Various lists of supposedly "real" product warnings have been going around for a long time, and we've all seen enough with our own eyes on step ladders and knife sharpeners to find these believable.

On a Sears hairdryer:
...Do not use while sleeping.
(darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:
...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there really a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Thanks to Dr Philip E Humbert, Author, Speaker and Coach for this list.