Author Ian Van Tuyl has invented a system for unraveling the mysteries of the universe: Popstrology. It's based on the idea that your fate and personality are ruled by the songs that topped the charts on the day you were born. (Oh, like astrology is soooo logical.)
Your profile is composed of your Birth Year (ruled by the band with the most number-one hits that year) and your Birthstar and Birthsong (the tune that was number one on your birthday). They don't always match up. Take March 11, 1970. Excellent Birthsong: "Bridge over Troubled Water." Questionable Birth Year: Jackson 5. (Sorry, Pisces. You may be Zen, but you're pretty cheesy.)
Hopeless overachiever? Maybe your song is "Ain't No Mountain High Enough."
Just imagine the plight of a Tiffany born in the year of U2 (you think you're alone now, on a Sunday, bloody Sunday) or a Bon Jovi in the year of Paula Abdul (you may be living on a prayer, caught in a hit and run). For his part, Van Tuyl is a Double Monkee, as his book explains, "born under the influence of the song 'I'm a Believer.'"
Popstrology may be so much modern Abracadabra, or simply What a Fool Believes.
Reach Van Tuyl through his publisher:
175 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10010.