The 101 Dumbest Moments in Business

The 101 Dumbest Moments in Business

In its fifth annual review, Business 2.0 recaps the most shameful, dishonest and just plain stupid moments of the past year.The No. 1 dumbest? That award goes to Ingersoll-Rand subsidiary Kryptonite who discovered that the u-shaped bike locks they've made for 30 years can be easily picked with a Bic pen!

X-Rated Watch
"It's a playful and fun launch. There is no sexual connotation to it, in my opinion." -- Swatch Group president, reacting to protests over a billboard depicting cartoon rabbits in what appear to be various sexual positions.

Low-Carb Soda
Coca-Cola and PepsiCo spend a total of $75 million to launch "midcalorie" sodas C2 and Pepsi Edge, banking on the low-carb trend. The drinks, containing refined sugar, are rejected.

Spankings at Work
The owner of a shaved ice operation is charged with two counts of sexual battery after it dawns on a pair of 19-year-old ex-employees that spankings are not a professionally sanctioned management tool.

See Dumb Moments 11 - 101· The Grand Prize Winners

Michael Graham decides to sell himself (out) on eBay

Inside Radio's Tom Taylor passes along this one, inspired by Armstrong Williams. WMAL talker Michael Graham decides to sell himself (out) on eBay.Great publicity gimmick - and the bidding for a "conservative talk show host" is already over $1,100 (says DCRTV.com). Graham will donate the proceeds to a charity that helps wounded soldiers and their families. Over 30 bids so far. CLICK TO VIEW OR BID.

Tampa targets teens

..with several benchmarks:

"WQYK'S FREE ASSEMBLY PROGRAMS" 3X[Jingle] "99.5 WQYK! [Voice-over/Les McDowell/music bed] I think kids have so much creativity inside 'em that's lookin' to get out, a story to tell. [V/o] Les McDowell from the Morning Show, talkin' about WQYK's Free Assembly Programs for Bay Area elementary schools. [V/o/Les McDowell] Well, over the years, I've done the bicycle safety programs at schools, and the Be A Roper, Not A Doper programs for the Sheriff's office. Now, we're doing something a little different. It's a program I came out with with some rope tricks and poetry. You know me, I gotta do a little of that poetry. But the kids get in the act too. They get to read some stuff that they've written. I'd love to come out to your child's school. [V/o] For more information or to schedule a Free Assembly Program, just e-mail Les today at McDowell@WQYK.com. [V/o/Les McDowell] I think writing's pretty good therapy for the soul, even for kids!" (3X)

"GOOD KID OF THE WEEK" 2X[Voice-over/Skip Mahaffey/music bed] "Hi there, Skip Mahaffey here with a message for parents, grandparents, well anybody looking for a unique way to let a kid know that they're special. How about nominating them as a Mattress Firm Good Kid Of The Week? Go to WQYK.com and look for the Good Kid Of The Week icon on the Morning Show page, and tell us why you think your kid should be the WQYK Mattress Firm Good Kid Of The Week. Now, every Friday, we choose one kid as Good Kid Of The Week, that'll receive a really cool certificate, signed by all of us, and every Good Kid is in the running for a grand prize from Mattress Firm at the end of the year. So, tell us about your good kid and maybe they'll be our good kid next week on 99.5 WQYK." (2X)

Thanks to the magic of Mediabase, here's a monitor of all the other benchmarks on WQYK on this particular Tuesday (1/11/05):

PROMOTIONS

SUPER BOWL OF MOTOR SPORTS TICKETS 9XDesignated callers in the 2pm, 5pm and 8pm hours were each awarded a pair of tickets to attend the 22nd Annual Super Bowl of Motor Sports at Raymond James Stadium on January 22nd.

PUBLIC SERVICE/TSUNAMI & EARTHQUAKE RELIEF 4X"For more information on how you can donate to the American Red Cross, Unicef and other organizations for the tsunami and earthquake relief efforts in South Asia, go to our web site, WQYK.com!" (or variation/jock ad-libs vary) (4X)

RANDY PRICE PERSONAL APPEARANCE/BILL HERD CHEVROLET 3X"Saturday, 10 to noon, Randy Price will be at Bill Herd Chevrolet, [location] in Plant City, WQYK!" (or variation/jock ad-libs vary) (3X)

TRAVIS TRITT CONCERT TICKETS 3XDesignated callers in the 11am, 5pm and 10pm hours were each awarded a pair of concert tickets to see Travis Tritt at Ford Amphitheater on February 10th and full access to the Florida State Fair.

HANK DALE PERSONAL APPEARANCE/BRANDON FORD 2X"Join me, 7 to 9, this Friday at Brandon Ford, [location] ...We'll have WQYK goodies for ya! Kick some tire with Wayne Hammond and the boys! Brandon Ford, Friday night!" (or variation/jock ad-libs vary) (2X)

TAMPA POLICE DEPARTMENT INTERVIEW 2XDuring the 12 noon hour, Tampa Police Department recruitment officers Laura McElroy and Judy Diaz were in-studio guests. They spoke with midday host Hank Dale about the need to build up the Tampa PD Reserve Force, and the opportunities currently available for men and women who are willing to volunteer to be trained.

RANDY & DAVE MCKAY PERSONAL APPEARANCE/DALLAS BULL 2X"Randy and Dave on the radio...Dallas Bull, Thursday night, we're gonna be out there this Thursday!...WQYK in the house, where it's Ladies Night! Ladies drink free 'til 1am!" (or variation/jock ad-libs vary) (2X)

FREE DINNER FOR TWO 1XA designated caller in the 12 noon hour was awarded a gift certificate for all-you-can-eat chicken and ribs at Sunny's restaurant.

GENERIC CONTEST DISCLAIMER 1X[Voice-over/music bed] "Attention contest players on WQYK! We encourage you to call and enter as often as you wish but you're eligible to win a contest just once every 30 days... [disclaimer continues] ...Complete rules available during business hours at 5510 Gray Street, Tampa. Thank you and happy dialing." (1X)

HEATHER VAN NEST INTERVIEW 1XChannel 10 News Anchor Heather Van Nest was interviewed during the 5pm hour. She discussed several of the top stories scheduled to be covered during the 6pm and 11pm News on monitor night.

FEATURES

CNN Radio News updates aired at 12 noon and 5pm. [Voice-over/sfx] "Now, another News Update from CNN on 99.5 WQYK... [CNN Radio News Update follows]." (2X)

NATIONAL ANTHEMImmediately following the 12 noon News, the station aired "The Star Spangled Banner," by Ricochet.

IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION OF THE DAYWeekdays in the 1pm hour, midday host Hank Dale presents a sponsored trivia contest. The first correct caller on monitor day was awarded a pair of concert tickets to see Trace Adkins at Cypress Gardens in Winterhaven on January 15th [e.g. "Q: Eat four servings of this per week and you'll cut your risk of two different cancers by 50% What is it? A: Cabbage"].

"WQYK.com is where you'll find the answers to the Impossible Question of the Day, which we will have at around 1:10 this afternoon, give you a chance to win those tickets to Cypress Gardens to see Trace Adkins. That's this Saturday the 15th, at Winterhaven...It is a 2pm show. We will do that with the WQYK Impossible Question of the Day!" (1X)

TOP EIGHT AT 8 COUNTDOWNWeeknights at 8pm, evening hostess Veronica counts down the top eight most requested songs of the day. JR Evans filled in on monitor night. Caller comments were used to frontsell several of the songs.

ALL REQUEST SOLID GOLD SUNDAY PROMO[Voice-over/JR Evans & Shannon Ryan/music bed] "Hello once again, it is JR and Shannon. Up next on All Request Solid Gold Sunday...It's a renunion with the legendary Judds, along with live, in concert versions of some of their most popular songs...Tell your friends. Of course, we'll be playing your requests and dedications...All Request Solid Gold Sunday...Starts at 7... [In unison] On 99.5 WQYK!" (1X)

RISE UP PROMO[Voice-over/artist/music bed] "Hey everybody, this is Buddy Jewell. [Sung] Have a little fun Sunday morning. Rise Up with your radio. [Spoken] And my buddy, John Ritter! [V/o] Don't give up. Just Rise Up, every Sunday, 6 to 10am ...[Jingle] Rise Up with the love God gave you. [V/o] ...99.5 WQYK! [Jingle] Rise Up with His amazing grace. Rise Up!" (1X)

MORNING SHOW

Skip Mahaffey and the Morning Show; Host: Skip Mahaffey; Traffic: Les McDowell; News: Rita Ciccarello; Sports: Braden Gunn; Weather: Tampa Bay's 10 News Chief Meteorologist Dick Fletcher. On day of monitor, Traffic was delivered four times per hour from 6am to 9am. News and Weather were updated on the half hour from 6:30 through 9am. Sports Headlines were updated once per hour from 6am through 9am.

"SKIP MAHAFFEY APPEARANCE/GASPARILLA DISTANCE CLASSIC RACE" 4X[Voice-over/Skip Mahaffey/music bed] "Hi there, Skip Mahaffey here for the 2005 Bank of America Gasparilla Distance Classic Race weekend, brought to you by [sponsor], February 5th and 6th. Entry forms are available at Bay Area [sponsor] locations and [list of sponsors]. Also sponsored by [list of sponsors] and us, WQYK! I'll be hosting the 'Too Good For Drugs Race.' For complete information and to sign up, just go to WQYK.com." (4X)

"'LES MCDOWELL, LIVE AT THE BLUEBIRD CAFE' CD" 3X[Voice-over/music bed] "WQYK's resident cowboy poet, Traffic reporter and all- around good guy Les McDowell is pretty proud of his newest CD of poetry. [V/o/ Les McDowell] Well, we flew John McEuen in from the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, into Nashville, and we recorded it up there at the famous Bluebird Cafe. John played music on all the recordings and this time, we let him actually sing some of his songs too, since it was in front of a real live audience. I think John actually likes my poems. He calls 'em 'Poetry Americana,' since they don't always rhyme and they aren't just about cowboys. [V/o] 'Les McDowell, Live At The Bluebird Cafe With John McEuen'! [V/o/Les McDowell] And they're only 10 bucks for about an hour's entertainment! And all the money goes to The Angelus. [V/o] For complete information, just go to our web site, WQYK.com." (2X)

[Voice-over/music bed] "WQYK's Harley ridin' cowboy poet and stagecoach driver Les McDowell, talkin' about his 'Live At The Bluebird Cafe' CD. [V/o/Les McDowell] Well, as much as I do my poetry in front of live audiences, we never actually recorded anything live before, and we thought it'd be kinda neat to record up in Nashville, maybe at the legendary Bluebird. And they let us! They probably let me do it 'cause, well I had John McEuen with me. [V/o] 'Les McDowell, Live At The Bluebird Cafe in Nashville'! [V/o/Les McDowell] John actually gets to sing some of his songs on the CD. He sings and well, I do some of my poetry. By the way, listen for where we'll have them available. They're only 10 bucks and all the money goes to The Angelus. [V/o] For complete information, just go to our web site, WQYK.com." (1X)

"DARRYL WORLEY INTERVIEW" 1XDuring the 7am hour, Skip spoke via telephone with Darryl Worley. He discussed his performance at the Freedom Festival, his recent tour playing for U.S. military personnel in Iraq and Afghanistan, and how he's gearing up to start his first 2005 tour next week, promoting his new album and his new hit Awful, Beautiful Life." Darryl and Skip agreed to get together and golf sometime.

"TAMPA BAY TERMINATORS INTERVIEW" 1XSeveral Tampa Bay Terminators team members were in-studio guests during the 8am hour. They announced this year's women's tackle football tryouts and discussed competing in last year's championship series.

"WHO'S ON FIRST"The first caller of each weekday is asked to provide the name and a brief description the previous day's first caller, then give their own name and a brief description of themselves for the next day's first caller. Successful first callers are awarded a prize; on monitor day, the prize was a four pack of tickets the Brooks Field Race.

"PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE"Weekdays about 6am, a group of local elementary school children recite the Pledge Of Allegience to the Flag.

"PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE POSITIONING"[Tympani drum roll sfx/Voice-over/children] "Hi, my name's [name] ...Hi, my name's [name] ...From Miss [name]'s first grade class and Miss [name]'s Kindergarten class, and our school is named [name] Elementary... [Classes recite Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag over patriotic music bed]." (1X)

"BASIC MANNERS WITH KIM GODDARD"This brief segment aired in the 6am hour, wherein Kim Goddard explained the proper ways of serving wine.

"BASIC MANNERS WITH KIM GODDARD POSITIONING"[Voice-over/music bed/sfx] "And now, Basic Manners with Kim Goddard on 99.5 WQYK, brought to you by [sponsor]. [V/o/Kim Goddard] The ettiquette of wine serving. So many people love the stuff... [feature continues] ...That's it for today. I'm properly yours, Kim Goddard. [V/o] Basic Manners on WQYK is also brought to you by [sponsor]." (1X)

"COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS"Weekday mornings in the 6am hour, Al Wyntor calls in from Nashville, Tennessee to discuss several of the latest stories currently making headlines in the world of Country music.

"WEATHER KID"Each weekday morning, a student from a local school is chosen to read the Weather forecast. The segment was broadcast once per hour from 6am to 8am. Each Weather Kid during the week of monitor day was awarded a four pack of tickets to the space exhibit at MOSI, the Museum Of Science and Industry.

"WEATHER KID POSITIONING"[Voice-over/teenager] "Good morning, Tampa. My name is [name]. I'm in the third grade at [name] Elementary and I'm today's WQYK Weather Kid... [forecast follows] ...Now, here's Rita!" (3X)

"BATTLE OF THE SEXES"Weekdays during the 7am hour, a male and a female listener are pitted against each other in this multiple question trivia contest. The contestant with the most correct answers is awarded a prize and invited to compete against another member of the opposite sex the following day.

"KRISTEN LEVINE'S PET PATROL"Kristen Levine was in-studio during the 7am hour, discussing dog ownership and the need for canine education in obedience. She recommended Bark Busters or other services available where trainers come to your home and teach your dog in it's own environment. Her local column "Petcetera" was written on this topic and was due out on Saturday. She also had Caesar with her, an 80 pound Labrador Retriever currently up for adoption. Listeners were advised to visit the station's web site for pictures and adoption information.

Radio hoax creates minor scramble for toilet paper

The Arizona Republic reports:

Radio hoax creates minor scramble for toilet paper

104.7 KISS FM, told their listeners that a paper production plant in California had to cease operations because bacteria had contaminated the site.

A very cool way to memorialize Johnny Carson: http://home.nycap.rr.com/useless/toilet_paper/index.html

Help solve local crimes

640 Toronto Posts Bounty For Arrest Of Mystery ShooterToronto ON from Darren Wasylyk

http://www.milkmanunlimited.com/tunedin.htm reports that 640 TORONTO morning host, John Oakley announced Friday morning that 640 TORONTO has posted a two thousand dollar reward for information that leads to the arrest of the person(s) responsible for shooting two innocent women in the King and Jarvis area this past Wednesday night.

The announcement was made during a radio interview with Detective Jeff Zammit from Crimestoppers on the Oakley show early this morning. Zammit was in studio to discuss the story and advised that although there were people near the area at the time of the shooting, there still had not been any solid leads in the case what-so-ever.

“A couple of small tips have come in so far”, said Zammit. “But, the bottom line is that the investigators really don’t have anything to go on so far”.

The bizarre case, in which a volley of gunshots were fired around 8:10pm on Wednesday night, claimed two female victims who were shot while walking in the area of George Street between Front and King . The two women, both in their twenties, were shot in separate incidents, one block apart. Both received treatment at St. Michael’s Hospital and are recovering from bullet wounds.

“These were innocent victims”, said Oakley. “Something like this could happen to any one of us. We have to catch these guys and put them behind bars and I’ll put up two grand as a reward for the person who comes forward with the tip that leads Crimestoppers to the arrest of those responsible”.

Zammit accepted the offer and clarified that any information given to Crimestoppers is strictly confidential and done anonymously.

“We just want your tip, we don’t want your name”, Zammit explained.“We’ll take the information, give you a tip number and ask you to call back in 4 to 6 weeks. If your information leads to the apprehension of the criminals, we’ll make arrangements to get you your reward”.
Any Citizen with information about the shootings can call Crimestoppers in confidence at (416) 222-TIPS.

To date, Police investigators have found virtually no clues as to who fired the gun, how many shots were fired, or where the criminals were located during the shootings.

YOUR place in history (age gauge)

This will really make you feel old...or young....

Put your birth date in the pop up window after you click on the link.

What happens is pretty interesting. It's also amazing how quickly it computes!!

Click here: http://www.frontiernet.net/~cdm/age1.html

MORE AGE GAUGES: TOP 40 - TV - THE MOVIES

Jock Shouts - what's the POINT?

Every air personality knows the thrill of the first radio station you worked at where they bought you a jingle with seven Dallas singers shouting your name over the intro of a station shotgun.

I certainly don't want to deny any jock that personal step upward in their self-esteem, but if you happen to have your own jock shout, please stop for a moment before you play it on the air again and think about it from a listener perspective.

You're listening to one of your favorite songs. Then, the station segues into another of your favorites by one of the superstar artists of the format. Between the two songs, out of nowhere, comes a group of singers shouting a name that you're unfamiliar with and which means nothing to you. It might have made more sense if they had shouted the name of the star singing that second song.

Please: if you have a jock shout or a jingle with your name in it, do something memorable and compelling before you play it so that the jingle links your great content with your brand, your name.

A great way to use a jingle with a shout of your name is as a punctuator of a tightly-edited listener interaction phone call that showcases your values and character.

Dittos with a 'show intro.' After a newscast, and before the first song of the next segment if you want to play something that sets up up your show - please at the very least say something before the intro or after it up the intro of the song that pays off immediately for who you are. No one is so intrigued by the mere mention of a name they don't know to wait patiently through one or two songs to find out who that person is..

People don't listen to the radio for contests, teasers and benchmarks. They want music and information, or at the very least fun and companionship. Link your name with something SALIENT to the target listener, please.

Immediately, not three to five minutes later.

Christmas = AC radio shines

If you're looking at December ratings through the roof for a local AC station and wondering "what did they do?" .. here's where to learn all about it: Mike Kinosian's AC INSIDER always has powerful insights and ideas to share: http://www.acradio.com/mk011705.html.

News writing tips and tricks

Ken Blake, Ph.D. Middle Tennessee State University has some very helpful outlines that will take you back to school at http://mtsu32.mtsu.edu:11178/171/leads.htm..

Rule #1: A straight news lead should be a single paragraph consisting of a single sentence, should contain no more than 30 words, and should summarize, at minimum, the most newsworthy "what," "where" and "when" of the story.

Rule #2: The lead's first verb should express the main "what" of the story and should be placed among the lead's first seven words. (personally, I love it when the word YOU is in there early too, so that I know the story affects ME immediately)

Rule #3: The lead's first verb -- the same one that expresses the main "what" of the story -- should be active voice, not passive voice.

Active vs passive? If you need a little refresher on THAT, click on: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_actpass.html

Factoids about your city and suburbs

Check out: http://www.city-data.com/ for all the towns in your coverage area and talk/think about average ages, familities, rents, mortgages, commute times, etc in the many different places where your listeners live and work. i.e., after clicking on several of your local communities be sure to compare how many are driving to work by half hour throughout your morning show.

Groundhog-ed

The week leading up to Groundhog Day (or day of), a morning personality is placed in a manhole/sewer broadcasting live. At your designated time, have the personality literally pop up out of the manhole to see if they see their shadow or not. Have listeners place wagers to win "Ground Hog" (sausage) and one lucky person who guesses correctly wins a trip to a warm or cold location (depending on the shadow outcome).

Then, throughout "Groundhog Day", give listeners a chance to call-in and win video copies of, "Groundhog Day" starring Bill Murray and/or, "Caddyshack" also starring Bill Murray along with Chevy Chase. Use clips/snippets from the movie(s) to cue listeners to call-in and win!

Valentine's Ideas

Cheap Date
Have listeners give you stories of their mates typical Valentine's Day plans. Find the person who normally spends the most money and award them a "Cheap Date" package that includes: A box dinner or gift certificates to a fast-food restaurant, a rent-a-wreck for the night or bus fare, and obstructed-view seats at a concert or sporting event. Have the person who is the real "Cheap Date" win a deluxe dinner, limo, tickets to big city event, etc. OR...you can just award your listeners "Cheap Dates" with the above prize package.

D-I-V-O-R-C-E
Give away a divorce for Valentine's Day. Listeners call-in or register on-line to tell their stories and the couple judged as "Most Unlikely Couple" wins. Have the audience vote on-line. Make sure you talk to your attroney before jumping into this one.

Day Of Love
Play love songs all day on-air and/or on-line for Valentine's Day. Announce at least a week prior that you will be celebrating a day of love on Valentine's with "all love songs, all day long". Have listeners/consumers call-in special "I Love You's" to air between the songs.

Our Song
Couples call, fax or register on-line with their name, phone number and favorite love song. Play the requested songs on-air the week prior to Valentine's Day. When a couple hears their song, they have to call the station on two seperate phone lines to win a free Valentine's Day dinner.

Singles Night
Hold a "singles' night" event at one or several locations to help single listeners find a mate. Have one event at a popular club for the party crowd, one at a popular grocery store, one at a popular book store or library, etc. Have "team" games for attendees to play at each event to encourage mingling and meeting.

Heart Run/Walk
Set-up a local fun run/walk prior to or on Valnetine's Day. Charge a small registration fee for participants to enter with all proceeds benefiting the charity. Produce a Valentine Heart t-shirt for all who participate. You can also tie-in additional partners/clients to help provide food, beverages and additional prizes.

Nutty
Have a personality covered in chocolate standing inside a staging area. Invite attendees to buy a bag of "nuts" to benefit the charity and use those to toss at the chocolate covered personality. Award the "nut tosser" $10 in play money for every nut that sticks so they may use it to buy donated items from local merchants.

Balloon of Love
ITEMS NEEDED: Blown-up balloons, a stop watch (optional) and several couple's to participate. The object is for the couple to stand face-to-face and when you say "go" move a blown-up balloon from their knees to their waist with out using their hands and pop it. The stopwatch is only necessary if you decide to bring the couple's out one at a time otherwise the first pop wins. Tips: With the couple standing face-to-face, place the blown-up balloon at their knees and have them press against it lightly so it stays in place. Hands behind their back. Once the balloon is at their waist area they can hug tightly and to the balloon.

Desperate and Dateless
The week or day before Valentine's Day hold an on-air "Desperate and Dateless" game where you hook up two (2) dateless listeners. The winner's receive a night on the town including: limo, dinner and a show. Make sure you have them report back to you after the date to see if you made a connection.

Thanks to www.lured.com's Sammy Simpson for the ideas.

Seth Godin has a blog

First, if you don't know WHO Seth Godin is, you need to Google or Amazon.com his name and read "One to One Future."

If you DO KNOW.. bookmark this: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/. A very smart guy, always an idea-filled read.

See the elephant who uses the toilet

If you ever are stuck for something to talk about, click on http://kmps.com/ and then on "Ichabod Caine and the Waking Crew" for a veritable plethora of fun stuff. Like, for example: Click here to see the Elephant who uses the toilet (Featured in "Stephanie's Strange Story") You must see it to believe it!

Houston Donates to Armor for the Troops

A small business in Houston has answered a call for help for troops in Iraq. It's all because KSEV radio talk show host, Edd Hendee, spending the week in Iraq discovered Marines there needed some special supplies. The packages shipped by Forges, Flanges and Fittings are expected to arrive in Iraq on Friday. They ship stuff from the small business on Fulton Drive all the time, but this time the shipment is different (read more - KHOU)

If you would like to make a donation to Armor for the Troops: Make checks payable to: Armor for the TroopsMail to: 10333 Richmond Ave, Ste 100Houston, TX 77042 (This is a Frost Bank location) MORE: http://www.ksevradio.com/default.asp

Teen talk-abouts

john_ford@parade.com at www.Paraderadio.com pulls some good ideas out of this Sunday's edition:

IS IT A GOOD IDEA FOR A PARENT TO HAVE A KID "TRY A CIGARETTE" TO SHOWTHEM HOW AWFUL SMOKING IS?

According to PARADE magazines Marilyn vosSavant, who has the highest I.Q. ever recorded, it can sometimes work,but she doesn't endorse it. It possible that even a small child mightenjoy the grown-up pretense of smoking. A better idea is to get youryoungster to be repelled by the main reasons to stay away from smoking:It often causes misery and death.

Topic Ideas: In your opinion, what's the best way to quit smoking? Doyou have any helpful suggestions for quitting smoking? How old were youwhen you had your first cigarette, and who gave it to you?

TEENS TALK DATING IN THIS SUNDAY'S ISSUE OF PARADE MAGAZINE. What isdating like for teens across America? That's the question posed toteenagers in this Sunday's issue of PARADE magazine. Here's what a fewof them had to say:

- Kayla York, 15-years-old, from West Linn, Oregon: "In my school,there's always an obnoxious couple, where the guy will maul the girl infront of everyone. (Gross!) There's also the power couple, they're fromopposite crowds (like prep and punk), and they influence everyone."

- Melody Liao, 16, from Albany, California: "News spreads like wildfirehere. It takes less than a day for most of the school to find out thatso-and-so and what's-her-face are an item."

- Lisa Hutchison, 16, from Charlotte, North Carolina: "My boyfriend andI are at that awkward age where we don't have a license and don't wantto be seen being driven by our parents. Dates are almost always dinnerand a movie. This is mainly an 18-and-over city."

Topic Ideas: Tell us about what dating is like at your school? What wasthe absolute worst date of your entire life? Tell us about it. How doyou let someone down gently when you don't want to hurt their feelingsbut there is now way you would ever date them?

Are you wasting your loyalty emails?

Unless they come from a real person and are addressed to a real person, you are. Unless they start with a listener benefit that passes the who cares test and the primary goal of the message is to improve your service to your listener (one person), you are. Unless they are written in compelling, one to one style, you are.

Want proof? Click on: ExactTarget (http://www.ExactTarget.com). Read it and weep, if your emails to listeners are merely hype and sales pitches:

"Email marketing will continue as a viable business practice only if email messages are relevant and customized to individual user preferences, predicts ExactTarget. Relevance will be the number one issue, as marketers build more one-to-one relationships. Behind the scenes, this requires improved customer data integration and tools to ensure reliable deliverability. Marketing and IT will work together more than ever before to drive these initiatives forward. "

It's not enough to send emails to your listeners. Do they contain any content? Listeners don't listen for promotions, contests and benchmarks. They listen to become informed, to hear stories, to be moved emotionally, to be entertained, to hear their favorite songs. Do your emails remind your listener (one to one) that you understand this?

Prep links

Texas-based Joel Folger has his fingers in a few things that have me scratching my head (a syndicated country format he calls "The Bar," which seems a bit narrow for these red state values-based times as well as a format he calls "Bob" which sounds a lot like Rogers' and Gary Wall's copyrighted "Jack" to me).

But, he is also author of "Bitman" morning prep (only available for barter in the USA but for cash in Canada).

And, in that role, he has created a prep links website which is a great portal of many sites you will want to bookmark: http://www.preplinks.com/

The Ugliest Office in Memphis

Country radio shares a lot of at work listening with AC, and great office-oriented website promotions may be flying under your radar that drive your P-1's to listen to the other guys. Get in the game, like WRVR 104.5 does: PD Mark Edwards adds at work pizzazz without any clutter on the air by driving at work listeners to http://www.wrvr.com/ and getting them hooked their simultaneous weekly 'events' 365 days a year like giving away a complete office make-over based on photos of 'The Ugliest Office in Memphis" with entrant photos posted on the station website for listeners to vote on.

Other 365 day a year at work web promotions WRVR does: the weekly "Breakfast Brigade" where the Mike and Mandy morning show deliver donuts, bagels and station items to a different workplace each week and also "the WRVR Office Lunch Bunch," where a lucky listener (they win by singing up on the website and then simply listening for their name at 104.5) gets to take nine co-workers to lunch at a nice restaurant with staffers from WRVR once each week, midday guy Bill Bannister plays "TV Tunes Trivia" on the air but the contest portion of the contest happens at http://www.wrvr.com/station/contests.html.

The key is involving everyone at work in the (multiple dayparts and days per week) fun and driving them, building relationships with them through http://www.wrvr.com/ and back to 104.5 FM. Reach Edwards at Entercom/Memphis: 901-767-0104.

Second Term - another JibJab classic

The Bushies have barely been sworn in and already http://jibjab.com's creative team is in action with another animated hoot titled SECOND TERM! (To the tune of “She’ll Be Coming Around the Mountain When She Comes”)

Yes, I’m comin’ back to serve a second term.This time I won the national elec-she-un!Oh, thanks to you O-hi-a,And dear brother Jebedia,We get four more years to rule in Washington!

Good God he’s comin’ back to serve a second term.We were hoping in ’04 we’d get a turn.But we lost the vicious battle,Now they’re stuck without a paddle!Who will save us from con-ser-va-tiz-eum?

I will stabalize Iraq in my second term.And I will amend the con-sti-tu-sheun.Then I’ll eliminate all the taxes,That are breakin; all our back-siz.And push for more pri-vat-i-za-she-un!

We cannot believe he won a second term.He destroyed the trans-atlantic alli-unce!Heck, I’ll extend a friendly offer,Barbeque and beers in Crawford!Mending fences broken by pre-emp-she-un!

We want peace on earth throughout his second term.We want Iraqis to have free elec-she-uns.There’s a beef here, let’s dispatch it,And bury that ol’ hatchet.

Yes, we’ve been through stormy weather,Now it’s time to work together!Gather round the ol’ chuck wagon,It’s a grand time we’ll be havin’,In the four years he has left in Wash-ing-ton!

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