Birthdays, Anniversaries And Such

Two decades ago Jon Coleman released morning show research his research company had done at a national broadcast convention.

The specific percentages have changed over the intervening years, as this more recent Coleman graphic shows, but the ranker of interest in entertainment elements still rings true along with the finding that listeners normally recall no more than two to four elements, so making the most of the ones you choose to do becomes imperative.

Highest interest (more than 2/3’s agree):  Off beat stories, Humor, Trivia, Fun joking back and forth between appealing characters

Less than half of listeners said they like:  Spoof songs, Making fun of local personalities, Off color jokes, Impersonations of famous people

Fewer than one in five are positive about:  Talking about personal experiences and Birthdays

Why is it that even talent who “gets” that if they talk about themselves the content needs to be especially relatable - like even Garrison Keillor - still feels that it’s acceptable wasting valuable time with an element - birthdays - that anyone who has been paying attention for the last 20 years ultimately knows that more than 80% of listeners don’t care about them?

People call and write and ask.

It’s hard to say “no” when someone does this, especially if the precedent has been set that you’ve done it for other people.

One of the most popular features of social apps is wishing friends a happy birthday, but of course Facebook is many to one whereas radio is one to many.

It takes courage and advance planning to make sure that your content is superior to anything else available on radio right now. 

One way to wean an audience from a bad habit like calling to ask for requests and birthdays:  never use anything with less than majority appeal that can’t also carry with it an off beat story, humor and solid rapport.  Even something as statistically popular as a crutch like trivia gets better when it contains those ingredients.

If you prefer to be imaged as a talent who stands up for radio's grand past traditions that the majority of us have long ago left behind, be like Garrison and do it with plenty of hot buttons included too.

My Inscrutable Blog Post

Sometimes attempting to "explain" something that simply didn't make much sense in the first place only serves to further cloud an issue.

I hope to avoid doing that here.  My New In 2007; Obsolete In 2013 post made sense, I hope, to the people I work directly with since it was designed to serve as a somewhere coded, confidential and personal reminder.

However, a comment came in over the weekend from an innocent reader who can be forgiven for feeling that it was...

Completely biased and useless rhetoric. I have no idea what this post was intended to accomplish. Could you clarify? I mean, how does an iPhone age and model relate to an elder and youth relationship? And what is the goal of a new phone as compared to the goals of each an elder and younger in a mutually satisfying relationship? What are you saying?

I appreciate the feedback and emailed my commenter:  "As I travel and listen to radio, I hear too many personalities talking to an audience that maybe existed at one time - "next hour, we'll..." "more details on our website" etc etc and I keep trying to get their attention and tell them to talk like real people do by reminding them that the only way to avoid cultural obsolescence is to be sharing emotions and telling stories each time you open your mouth. I use Dick Clark and Ed McMahon, rest their souls, as examples as I coach this point by noting that Dick was remaining relevant right to the end as he counted them down every New Year with Ryan while Ed was selling adult diapers and insurance to old people.  Staying fresh, current and contemporary is a personal choice, requiring the breaking of deeply-ingrained old habits which die hard.  Am I a voice in the wilderness?"

My correspondent replied, perhaps teaching the lesson far better than I did...

I believe the essence of radio has always been company, entertainment, and information for the masses. But it has always been one sided. Interactive media like web blogs, chat, and social sites like Twitter have influenced this, clearly, as they cater to individual interaction. The question may have become how can radio become more interactive? Less pretense and more camaraderie is appreciated and demanded by the radio audience today, in my view. And to at least sound (believably) interactive is crucial.

Why didn't I think of that?

Any time you read this blog and feel like improving on it, please add a comment or clarification.  Help me to "at least sound interactive."

What Not To Say

Do you sound 'real' or 'real radio'?

I note that some bosses don't give you the choice!

(Click here for) probably one of the most complete lists of "jockisms" I ever seen!

...Thanks to Jay Bedford, Program Director 1035 The Eagle, Sydney NS

A Personal Rant: "Enough Details, Already!!"

I drove through the snow this morning from Midland-Barrie-Orillia to Toronto's Pearson Airport, button-pushing across the AM and FM bands as I went.

Following the drive, one word is driving me to distraction: details.

It's the name, of course, of a fun magazine to pick up now and then and the details they print are always worth the price, but the word must mean something extra special in Canadian, because every radio station contest and promotion had more details, which I was supposed to listen for.

Websites contained even more details that I was being asked to search for. Car dealers promised more details "in store," retailers told me to ask their clerks for more details, traffic reports teased more details in just a few minutes, newscasts held out the promise of even more details a little later, weather personalities always had just a few more details coming up, air personalities seemed to have little to talk about but details on this or that.

Folks, folks, folks. Here's a quick tip: we all already have too many details to cope with in our daily lives. No one has time to wait, listen, go to a store, visit a car dealer, click on a website just for the promise of still more "details."

My favorite radio station's call letters are "WII-FM." (what's in it for me?)

I don't want details. I want you to relate to me, engage me, entertain me, inform me. At the very least, before using that word one more time, radio, please grab a Rogets and vary the words you use next time you're tempted to promise me "details" on anything.

Even better, condense those details into a few seconds, make it painless and fun and tell me what it is you think I'd be interested in. If you're hiding behind the word "details" because you know that I won't be interested, why waste my time? Or yours?